The day was finally here. The day we had to deliver our ”well prepared” live presentations on any topic of our choice. I will just get right to it, I do not think I did my best. I felt and still feel so disappointed in myself after my presentation. I had all the tips at the back of my mind, and I practised hard. So what exactly happened? What excuse do I have now? I guess nothing.

I started planning my presentation early enough because I had other assessments due the same date. I researched my topic and picked out important information I could explain better to the general audience. I designed my slides baring in mind the clarity, accuracy and conciseness. As the presentation date approached, I began to practice my presentation. I timed myself and with every practice session, my timing improved because I chose critical points to emphasise per slide. I was confident I had mastered my presentation, and I was good to go. The night before, I spent so much time polishing my project literature review, which too, was due the same date. I could swear I had about six cups of coffee to make sure I submitted it in the night so I could concentrate on my presentation. Unfortunately, it kept me up most of the night. The morning of, I was able to submit my literature review, and it was such a relief. Now that the pressure was gone, I was ready to give my presentation.

As my colleagues presented their work, I could not help but notice how good and creative most of them were. Soon my confidence began to vanish, and I doubted myself – I felt drained too. And then it was my turn. As I stood up there, I encouraged myself -you got this, you will do great! However, I did not believe it. My presentation was not smooth at all. I lost my train of thought a couple of times, and it was nothing like I hard practised. At one moment I was voiceless, I no idea what to say next but I quickly remembered my ‘one-minute’ exercise. I had the same experience, and the professor encouraged most of us to keep going, moving to the next slide or idea, which I did. I tried to pick myself up and kept going until I completed, but I knew it was not good.

After my presentation, I wanted the world to swallow me up. I felt so frustrated; my efforts did not pay off. I started to reflect perhaps I memorised my slides and nerves threw me off, or I did not rest enough, and it affected my delivery. All I knew, I didn’t give my best, and it haunts me.